Celebrating One Year Home!

We simply cannot believe it. Tomorrow, March 26th, we will be celebrating the one year anniversary of bringing Jared and Anthony home! It seems like only yesterday I was so scared of them being in the back seat alone all the way home (so of course, I crawled back there to sit with them) or that we were introducing them both to their big brother Schnitzel as we brought them into the "pack." He loved them from the start, just like Jason and I.

Of course this year hasn't been without its ups and downs but each and every day we are thankful to have them home.

In the last few weeks, the boys have changed so much. On April 5th, they will be 15 months...crazy! They still love the bathtub and love dancing as we get the bath water and toys ready. They aren't walking yet (fine with Momma) but are well on their way. They cruise along the furniture as fast as ever and have begun to stand alone for very short periods of time. The newest thing they love is to be chased. They can really crawl so fast when they want to.

Anthony has begun to say a few words here and there. Recently "Apple, Ball and Bye" have been added to his already extensive vocabulary of "Dada, Mama and Dog." It is so cute how he really tries to mimic what we say and even do.

Jared hasn't taken much of an interest in talking but of course says Dada repeatedly when Jason gets home from work at night.

They respond to our cues very well and Jason and I were just talking last night about how well they listen and respond to us. They are so fascinated with Schnitzel's water bowl and each time they crawl by it we have to warn them with "No-No" several times before they pass it up completely. Not to say there haven't been times the entire bowl has found is way on the floor or a baby's lap :)

Schnitzel is in hog heaven these days with all of the food they drop for him at mealtimes. He is slowly growing tired of Cheerios but eats almost anything else that falls from the heavens. He is super great when he plays with them and he and Anthony regularly enjoy a game of tug-of-war with some of Schnitzel's toys. Jared and Anthony also are very well mannered with him. They like to pet him and play with his ears. Schnitzel's only complaint is when they climb on him or happen to kick him on accident.

In the last week, we celebrated the anniversaries of both Jared and Anthony's laser eye surgery. Those days were so hard for us last year and it was unbelievable to look back on those times at how fragile they were and see how far they have come. We had a routine follow up with the pediatric opthamologist last month and all seems to be going well. Jared was showing some signs of nearsightedness but nothing that needs correction at the time. She will continue to re-check each year to monitor their vision and any changes.

The boys have had a cold this past week, runny noses and yucky coughs. It has been a week full of Benadryl and bedtime and not much sleep in our house :( This cold comes just a few short weeks after Jared, Anthony and Jason had the stomach flu. It all started on a Wed night with Jared throwing up his bottle at bedtime. Then after a few days of him being fussy and not eating much, I was woken up on Sat morning by the sound of Anthony throwing up in his crib. All followed by the fullest dirty diapers ever. There were even a few that caused me to pause and think "What do I do here..." Needless to say Anthony had a few impromptu baths in his diaper. Then Sunday night, Jason started with the upset stomach and was even laid up for a day or two. These poor babies just can't catch a break. I guess it's just the fact that because there is two of them, they pick up twice the germs and share them between each other.

These days, germs seem to be the only thing they share. Keeping the peace is a constant task around here. They are continually swiping toys from one another and this is not without tears, of course. We have to continually explain "taking turns" and "being gentle" to them, concepts a little out of their grasp, but better to start early since they have to learn to share earlier than babies without siblings.

Other than the illnesses, we haven't had too much going on here. Just the normal, crazy, day to day life with twins. On days when the weather has been nice we have gone for walks to the park. Jared and Anthony really like riding in the wagon and also like the swings. It is so funny, because every time we go to the park they are both unsure about crawling on the grass. They both warm up to it and begin crawling around and chasing the dog, but at the beginning they just kind of sit there and touch the grass. Anthony especially seems to be a little unsure of new textures but Jared just dives right in. Go figure!

The boys enjoy climbing on things and I recently turned a box into a tunnel which they really enjoy crawling through. I think the Easter Bunny will be bringing them a play tunnel for Easter this year!

This week has been the first week of a new schedule for us. I have switched them to one nap per day. So instead of a nap at 10AM and another at 3PM, they have been going down at Noon for about 2-3 hours. Each day their nap has gone longer and longer, which has been great for me to get things done around the house. I have begun feeding them lunch a little earlier and then giving them a small snack when they wake up to hold them over until dinner. They still get a small bottle of milk at bedtime. I was considering cutting this out recently, but the bottle is the easiest way to make sure they get their multi-vitamin each day. Their transition from bottle to cup for meal time was not difficult and when they had the stomach flu they went to bed every night without a bottle so I don't see it being to difficult to get rid of the bedtime bottle when we're ready to.

Thank you for your continued thoughts and prayers,

Fight On! Little Fighters!!
Love, Momma

Thirteen Months and counting...

Anthony enjoying his birthday party

Jared enjoying his birthday cake

The four of us!

Anthony and Jared having fun in the bath

Well, time flies when you're having fun...or when you have twins that just turned one!!

The boys had their one year check up with their pediatrician and are continuing to do well. They both weighed in at 20 lbs. (Jared just a few ounces shy) and are continuing to grow by the minute, it seems.

They are one the move. Although they are not walking yet (Thank goodness!) they certainly are speed crawling ;) They love to pull themselves up and cruise along the table or couch and we have found out that Jared likes to climb (lucky us!).

Great news update: We finally met with a plastic surgeon regarding Anthony's metopic ridge in his forehead and he recommended we do not operate at this time. He said that his ridge and positional molding issues are very minor and if it were his child, he would not run the risk of the operation as it is a very invasive procedure. Jason and I were relieved, mostly because we did not want to have to make the decision to have the surgery or not. There are so many pros and cons to both sides and we weren't exactly ready to decide. The plastic surgeon recommended a follow up each year with him just to see how his growth progresses. He said it is possible that everything may just work itself out as his brain and head continue to grow but at the same time, it may stay the same even though his brain and head will continue to grow. Only time will tell. Just as the neurosurgeon indicated with the CAT Scan, there is still room in his scull for his brain to grow so it is not a medical issue at this time.

On a fun front, we are continuing to attend Kindermusik classes each week and the boys are still enjoying it. I have also started a 5 week sign language class with them. The class is more for me and proves to be an hour long play time for them, but it really benefits them in the long run. Sign language is supposed to help babies communicate long before they can talk. Although it seems clear that they understand what I'm telling/signing to them, they are not really picking up on signing back. Miss Annette (our teacher) said that it is normal and some kids don't pick up on the signing until long after the class is over. This is slightly frustrating for me, since many of the babies (some younger) in the class are repeating many of the signs to their parents. Just the life of parents of preemies I guess. You try not to compare them to other babies, or even compare them to each other, but in the end sometimes its hard to do.

Jason and I celebrated our first Valentine's Day with the boys home yesterday. It was, lets just say, not our most relaxing Valentine's Day together. Both Jared and Anthony were having a rough night and ended up going to bed a little earlier than normal due to a shortened afternoon nap. Jason and I finally sat down to dinner at about 9PM. Its days like that, although hectic and stressful when you are in the moment, that make you look back and realize how blessed we are to have our babies home with us every day.

I recently started bathing them together in the regular bathtub. They love it and have so much fun splashing and playing with their toys together. It is a lot easier (and faster) for Momma too!

Pretty soon here, I am going to change up their nap schedule. They are still napping twice a day, but soon we will switch over to one long nap in the mid-day. We will see how it goes. Last time I changed their naps it took me almost two months (and some help - Thanks to Nicolle and Darcy) to get Anthony switched over.

They are clearly going through a "Momma Phase" now. It is getting to where I can hardly leave the room these days. When I'm not home they are little "Angels" for whomever is watching them, but if I am home but not in the same room as them, they go crazy! If they can see me but not exactly touch me, all hell breaks loose! I know it is sweet that they want me, but it is getting a little upsetting because I can hardly get anything done anymore (whether Jason is home or not). A few of the Moms in our Kindermusik class reassured me that this is just a phase, but couldn't tell me how long it will last...keep your fingers crossed that it ends soon (for my sake).

They both have four teeth now. Two on top and two on the bottom for each. Jared's second top tooth just broke through yesterday, while Anthony's second bottom tooth it making its way in now. They have their fussy moments, but with Orajel, Tylenol and teething rings, we're making it day by day.

Jason and I still greatly appreciate all of your continued love and support and I keep you all in my prayers each night as well.

Fight on! Little Fighters!!

Love Momma

Happy Birthday Jared & Anthony!

First of all, Happy New Year to you all. Danielle and I must say that 2011 so far has turned out to be much better to start than last year. As you all have figured out by now, today is the boys' 1st Birthday.

We are truly blessed to have two amazing little miracles. It seems like every day that I return home from work the boys have grown an inch, gained a pound, or started doing something new. At this stage they are crawling, babbling, pulling themselves up to stand, sprouting teeth (not fun), and doing everything a baby of one year should be doing.

Given where we started on January 5, 2010 it almost seems unreal. We could have never anticipated when we left the house that morning what was to come. We could have never guessed our babies would be born that day. It was certainly a fear as we made our journey to the hospital, but not one that seemed realistic to us.

I don't think we can ever explain enough how traumatic that day was. I don't know that we can ever explain the anguish or pain of that day, which is why this day has been somewhat bittersweet for us.

Danielle and I talked about how today would be for us. We wondered how we would treat this day and how we would feel. Sadly, the day our children were born is a day that doesn't bring back thoughts of joy or happiness. We didn't know if today we'd wake up sad, anxious, or happy. In the end, I think it was a little of everything. I know that the second I woke up today I went back to January 5, 2010. I found myself reliving many of the moments. I won't bore you with the details, but let's just say the events recorded here in this blog are as vivid to me today as the day I wrote them. I can remember the day as if it were yesterday (it still feels like yesterday sometimes). For much of the day it was difficult to remember that the boys are home, the boys are okay, and the boys are thriving.

I know what you are thinking: "Look at the positive! Look at how well they are doing!" Trust me, these thoughts are there, and honestly, they have outweighed any negative feelings we have. Yet, the gravity of our experience surrounding their birth still weighs on us, especially on this day. Keep in mind that just because the boys are home and doing well, doesn't mean the emotional pain and trauma from their birth and stay in the NICU have gone away or will go away for us. That is why I have taken a moment to share with you a little bit of what Danielle and I are feeling today.

With these thoughts in mind we planned our day today. I couldn't take the whole day off of work as my boss needed coverage of some cases. I did however, take the afternoon off and came home at 12. Danielle and I decided that we wanted the day for just the four of us. Given that we weren't sure how we were going to be feeling, we didn't want a big production on their actual birthday (the big production, and trust me I'll have the bills to prove it, is this Sunday). So, we went to lunch with the boys at the Shoppes at Chino Hills and then walked around a bit.

We stopped into a cupcake shop there and bought the boys each a birthday cupcake (more on that later). As is the norm for us now, several strangers commented on the twins and asked how old they were. It was a lot of fun telling people that they are the Big 1 today! The boys behaved well, and even cooperated and took their normal 3 o'clock nap.

Earlier tonight we gave the boys their cupcakes. We sat them together in their high-chairs and placed each cupcake in front of them. Because I guess we aren't as smart as we thought, we placed one candle in each and lit it. We then started singing Happy Birthday, at which point Jared lunged forward (he's shaping up to be the crazy one, by the way) and almost burnt himself on the candle. We both stopped our song midstream, lunged forward ourselves and saved our two children from our stupidity. For those of you thinking, "I'd like to see that!" don't worry. It's on tape, at least for a second, before the camera starts shooting the floor and you hear me cussing.

After the near fiasco, the boys tore into those cupcakes. They both grabbed the frosting covered things and went to town. Anthony grabbed a handful of frosting and sort of mashed it all over his face. Jared, clearly taking after his Momma's sweet tooth tried to shove the whole thing in his mouth. I have to say I'm shocked because that kid almost ate the whole cupcake. Anthony did a number on his as well. Schnitzel enjoyed the scene too as shards of cupcake made their way to the floor and then quickly into his mouth. For Momma and Daddy it was a blast. Seeing those little monkeys covered in cupcake was a hoot. It was yet another reminder of how far they've come in this past year.

The rest of the night saw relatives from both sides of the family calling the boys. Of course everyone wanted to sing Happy Birthday, which the boys adored. We put Grandma and Grandpa, Aunties and Uncles, Cousins, and even Great-Great Grandma and Grandpa on speakerphone for the boys. They both sat and stared at the phone, smiled, and lunged for it. Anthony even clapped along a couple of times.

Danielle and I can't thank you all enough for the phone calls today, and for all of your support over the last year. Without it, we'd have surely cracked a long time ago. We are blessed to have you all in our lives. All four of us love you all very much.

So, the boys are in bed now and have been since about 8 o'clock (bedtime). Danielle and I have the rest of the night to ourselves, unless another rabid tooth decides to rear its ugly head.

We get the rest of the night to think about the wonderful family we've created. We get to think about those amazing little miracles in the next room. We get to think about all of the joy that on January 5, 2010 was so uncertain. Some things are still uncertain. But, we are hopeful, we are grateful, we are blessed, and we know one thing is certain: our love for Jared and Anthony.

Happy Birthday Men!

Fight On, Little Fighters!-- Love, Daddy

Time flies when you have twins!

Both "eating" thier drums

First visit with Santa

Jared giving a new meaing to being "in" the saucer

Anthony on the one day he decided to smile at the camera

I tell my self multiple times each week "You really need to update the blog!" I feel that I am letting down those of you who still follow the blog regularly. I am not really one to set resolutions for the New Year, but I will definitely do my best to update more frequently. I am sure you can only begin to imagine how hectic my life is everyday :)

One of my books about raising multiples has a Congratulations chapter near the older infancy/first birthday section. The author (pediatrician and mom of twins) congratulates me for making it through the first year with twins. She writes about how as a Mom of twins I have probably never felt more house-bound than you have this past year and how the year really does fly by because of how amazingly busy you are. This is so true. I do my best to take in each experience I get with Jared and Anthony because it moves so quickly.

The boys are doing very well. They just got over a cold which means Anthony needed to have his ear infection re-checked so he began another antibiotic last Thursday. It is definitely no fun having twins with colds but doubly no fun when they have ear infections also. The doctor recommended bringing them in for a recheck if they happened to get a cold, good thinking Doc!

Jared and Anthony had their first appointment and CHOC's developmental clinic last month. It was kind of a culture shock for Jason and I because the therapists, doctors and dietitian that we met with only refer to them as their adjusted gestational age (three months behind) where as our pediatrician always treats them at their actual age.

So, at the time of the test (Age 10+ Months) their adjusted age was 7 months 2 days. The therapists tested them at that age. We met with an occupational therapist and a child psychologist that basically played with each boy separately to see how they interacted, manipulated toys and applied problem solving skills. Both Jared and Anthony scored within normal limits (at or about their adjusted age of 7 months) on all areas of testing and actually both tested higher (at 9-11 months) on both active and receptive communication skills. We were very happy with their report. Unfortunately, this being their first assessment, although good scores this time, they warned us that there may still be bumps in the road for them in the future.

We met with a dietitian who spoke with us about the boys eating habits. We were happy to report that they love food (everything except cottage cheese). She was surprised that they were doing so well with finger foods and actually was slightly put off that we started them on the food schedule based on their actual age rather than their adjusted age. We explained to her that our pediatrician treats them at their actual age and we go by her advice. When the dietitian found out the boys' were already on toddler formula and we would be transitioning to milk at 12 months, she explained to us that they may not be ready. Jason and I had a discussion when we left the clinic and decided that with no disrespect to the dietitian, we would go with our doctor's advice...she did make it through medical school!

Both boys are on the move! Jared is a crawling fool and Anthony still gets everywhere he needs to go by rolling. Anthony is now pulling himself up and is often standing in his crib when I go to get him from his nap. It really is the cutest thing, he thinks he is just so amazing (which he is!). Jared is beginning to stand with his hands still on the floor (similar to the yoga pose: Downward Dog) and they both enjoy standing while holding on to something.

Their first trip to visit Santa went surprisingly well. Neither of them cried and Anthony just stared at him and played with his beard. So funny! We are definitely ready for their first Christmas and then their First Birthday just 11 short days after that. My how time flies.

This time of year as been incredibly hard for me personally. I have so many memories of my pregnancy during the holidays (mostly of my swollen feet) and then it always leads to the day that they were born. Such a bittersweet day for Jason and I. We have been talking a lot about how we will handle Jan 5th 2011. Obviously, it is the day that our amazing miracles were born and the day that our lives were blessed forever. However, the day also brings up some very traumatic memories that I am still dealing with, or trying to anyway. I often wonder if it will be this way for us forever, for the next few years or maybe just the first year...only time will tell.

Thank you again for those who still follow the blog. I make a promise to you (since you care enough) that I will do the same and update more frequently.

Fight On! Little Fighters!! - Love Momma

10 Months Old!

Jared and Anthony turned 10 months old on Nov. 5th and we celebrated with doses of Amoxicillin and Tylenol :)

Both boys have their first ear infection. Honestly, it came as a surprise to me; they didn't have a fever and weren't irritable. I called the doctor last week to talk to a nurse about Jared. Both boys had just gotten over a cold and Jared started coughing again. He was only coughing at night, and so much so that he would wake himself up several times a night. The nurse suggested that I bring him in to have his ears checked...and sure enough both boys had ear infections. Anthony's worse than Jared's and with no symptoms, until later that night. Anthony decided he didn't want to sleep, so Momma wasn't going to sleep either. We stayed up until 3:30AM, well he would sleep on an off, but couldn't stay asleep because he couldn't get comfortable, then slept until 5:30AM then we were up again :( Luckily, that was the worst night to report.

Jared and Anthony are both sitting up very well on their own and are rolling all over the house. Jared will get up on his hands and knees and rock back and forth...I think crawling is in his future. As for Anthony, he is content rolling everywhere he needs to go. It is so funny how their personalities are so different. Jared is the first one to do anything related to mobility while Anthony is never in a hurry (foreshadowed by how they were born!).

We are still enjoying our Kindermusik class every Monday and all of the Mom's comment on how much the boys change from week to week and how great they are doing developmentally. We have our appt with the EDAC (Early Developmental Assessment Clinic) for preemies at CHOC next week, so we will see what the professionals have to say. This being our first visit, I am not exactly sure what to expect. My understanding is that we will meet with many different people who will assess the growth and development of each baby. We will be a part of the clinic until the boys are about 3 years old at least.

The pediatrician is very happy with their growth and seems to think they aren't too far behind in other areas.

We have been to the neurosurgeon twice now. Dr. Loudon indicated that Anthony's situation is purely cosmetic but would like to take a look at a 3D scan of his skull just to make sure. Today, Anthony had his CT scan done and we went directly to Dr. Loudon's office where we received mixed news. Anthony does have a mild metopic ridge in his forehead but it should cause no developmental problems with his brain or its growth. However, he is going to refer us to a cranio-facial plastic surgeon for an opinion on fixing the shape of his forehead via surgery.

Dr. Loudon asked "Have I scared you enough?" to that, Jason and I replied that as parents of preemies we prepare ourselves for any news at an appointment like this. Dr. Loudon said that Anthony's case is so mild and he suggested that the plastic surgeon may take one look at him and not think operating is worth the risk. Of course, Jason and I hope for that, but we are realistic in thinking that surgery may be on the horizon.

For those of you who don't know what a metopic ridge is (I didn't either) it is when the forehead bone fuses too early and creates a ridge down the center of the forehead. It can cause a triangle-shaped forehead rather than a flat forehead with a prominent brow. Anthony's ridge is barely noticeable but is palpable. According to Dr. Loudon, Anthony's eyes are closer together and the divots above the eyebrows are not as far to the sides as they should be. In my opinion, you can't tell any of this until someone points it out. On the other hand, he does have a lop-sided head from positional molding (which is very common in preemies) and the surgery would also even this out. Jason and I are concerned of what this means for Anthony in the long term and Dr. Loudon says that the only concerns will be cosmetic and that the plastic surgeon would be able to answer our questions about how it will effect his growth.

This concerns Jason and I because, as we all know, no kid wants to be different when they are growing up. I was constantly picked on because I was the only redhead...how about that for shallow. So unfortunately, we will somehow need to make a decision for Anthony, but how will we know what he wants? Dr. Loudon said that sometimes kids ask the question when they get older "Why didn't you fix this when I was young?" What a spot to be in. We will only know the details once we speak to the plastic surgeon in a few weeks.

On a happy note, I am thoroughly enjoying spending my days with both of them. I love playing with them and watching them grow right before my eyes. I am so grateful that Jason supported the decision for me to stay home with them and although it has been hard some months, we both believe it is well worth the struggles.

I have been having a hard time with their napping lately, Anthony being the defiant one, but the last week or so has been much better. They are still sleeping well at night and taking two two hour naps during the day. They are still voracious eaters and haven't found anything they don't like...well cottage cheese is questionable. They have begun eating cheeses, yogurt, pasta and diced fruits. It won't be too long until they can switch to milk from formula, which will save so much money :) Hip Hip Hooray!

Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers through this hard time, just have you have done for the past ten months. We are eternally grateful for your continued support.

Fight On! Little Fighters!! - Love Momma

9 Months Old - - WOW!

Jared feeding himself a rice cracker

Anthony enjoying one too!

Anthony (Left) Jared (Right)

The boys celebrated their 9 month birthday on Oct. 5th, we can hardly believe it. They are both getting so big and changing every day.

Last week, we went to the pediatrician for their 9 month check up. Jared weighs 17 lbs. 9 oz and Anthony weighs 17 lbs. 12 oz and both are 26 inches long. They are moving up on the growth chart and are both in about the 10th percentile for a 9 month old baby...Can you believe it? No immunizations ordered this time, but of course, they did each get a flu shot. Neither of them cried, we were there to comfort them as soon as they got the shot, so not even a tear. I think it is actually harder on Jason and I then it is on them when they get a shot. They have no idea its coming, but you do, then to see their little face frown and begin to cry...it breaks our hearts.

Their doctor is pleased with their growth and development. She thinks that they aren't too far behind where they should be at this age. They are both rolling all over the place and if they could just get their tummies off the ground, they will be scooting and maybe even crawling soon.

One area of concern it Anthony's head. Although it has evened itself out significantly since he began rolling over and sleeping on his tummy, the doctor wants it to be checked out. She is referring him to a Neurosurgeon at CHOC to make sure his skull bones have not prematurely fused and there is still room for growth and movement. She said she isn't too worried about it since there has been even growth since the last appointment, but she would rather be safe than sorry. If in fact, any of his skull bones have fused early, it could cause his head to grow lengthwise instead of equally all around and surgery would be needed to separate the bones.

Jared is the first to say "Dada." It happened last Monday night and Jason and I looked at each other puzzled...Did he really say what we thought he said? Sure enough...it was "Dada." Jason is so excited and tries to get him to say it every chance he gets. Anthony likes to babble a lot and by the way he is going, it seems like his first word might actually be "Uh-oh," but we'll have to wait and see.

We started attending a Kindermusik class on Mondays. It is a Mommy and Me class where the boys play and interact with other babies their age and there is lots of music and fun songs. They seem to really enjoy it and Anthony seems to have a crush on Miss Annette (the teacher). Jason had this past Monday off so he was able to go with us, and of course, he had fun too.

The only real struggle lately has been nap time. Some days are great and other days, not so much. I've been working on it the past 3 weeks, and it doesn't seem to be getting any better. Both boys are sleeping much better at night, but apparently don't like sleeping when the sun it out :) Jason said the other day, it is so funny how babies and kids fight taking naps but teenagers and adults can't ever seem to get enough sleep, funny how the tables turn.

The boys are starting to enjoy finger foods now and are still adding many new fruits and veggies to their everyday menu. Most recently, they have tried (and loved) watermelon, cantaloupe, blueberries and yogurt. Jason and I are most looking forward to switching them to milk once they are 12 months old. Formula is ridiculously expensive! Their doctor even gave us the green light to introduce milk a few weeks early if they don't have an adverse reaction to it.

All in all, things are going very well. I can't believe I've already started to plan their 1st Birthday party...time flies.

Thank you again for all of your love an support,

Fight On! Little Fighters!! - Love Momma

Doing Well and Growing Fast

As we approach the boys' 8 month birthday, we are pleased to announce they are doing very well. They continue to eat well and are sleeping better every night.

Both Jared and Anthony had a trip to the pediatric opthamologist a few weeks ago, for a routine eye check up. He was pleased with their vision as of yet and will be seeing them again in six months. From here on out, they will be seen every six months for eye exams unless something irregular comes up.

They are both sleeping well at night, with a few night terrors every once in a while. While, these night terrors don't wake them up, their screaming sure wakes me up. We have been directed by the nurse at their pediatrician's office, not to wake them up when they are having a night terror, but rather just to let them cry. Unfortunately, these can often last 10 or even 30 minutes. According to the nurse, babies and toddlers often have night terrors during a new developmental phase in their life. They can start as early as six months and come and go throughout their childhood. Also, both boys are rolling over comfortably now so I am in their room multiple times each night to check on them since they like to sleep on their sides and tummies now.

The boys have also enjoyed time in the pool this summer. They love the freedom of being to splash and kick. In fact, bath time has become a mini swimming/splash session, as I am usually soaked after giving them both a bath.

Bad news, the boys both had their first cold about a week ago. But with a humidifier, sleep, vapor baths and of course, saline drops and an aspirator for their nose, we all made it through fine.

Still no teeth yet. Both of them have been drooling and chewing like crazy, but no sign of a tooth on either of them. Yesterday afternoon, Anthony's mouth had a little blood in it and although I wasn't sure if that is a normal sign of teething, that was my first thought. Turns out, looks like he just scratched his gums with one of the many things he likes to put in his mouth :)

They are both getting stronger each day. While neither of them will sit up on their own for any duration of time, we see improvement day to day. Anthony, in fact, would rather stand than sit if he has his choice. He is much happier if you hold his hands and let him stand in front of you rather than sitting in between your legs.

They have become a lot more playful lately and love when I "get them" or play peek-a-boo. They also noticed each other for the first time a few weeks ago and even had their first fight. Jared wanted to suck/chew on Anthony's arm, but I guess Anthony did not want that, because Jared ended up with a scratch on his forehead. Albeit a coincidence, I still thought it was a funny sequence of events.

Anthony has found his screaming voice - yeah!! He tends to be more vocal than Jared in that he loves to talk all the time. He will talk in his sleep, talk to himself if he wakes up early from his nap and of course, loves yelling. It is funny, because you are not sure if it is happy or sad at first, but it turns out, he just loves to hear himself!

Thank you for your continued support and love,
Fight On! Little Fighters!! Love Momma

Celebrating 4 Months Home!

Today, we celebrate having our boys home with us for four months! It seems like it has gone by so fast.

Great news to report, we received a call from the boys' pediatrician and it seems that Jared's brain bleed and cysts have resolved on their own! Yeah!

Jared and Anthony are still doing wonderfully and are changing ever minute of every day. Still growing stronger and stronger. Jared is the first to roll from his back to his tummy, but Anthony is not far behind and will be doing the same any day now. It is so funny to watch them learn how to flip their little body over. Jared knew what he wanted to do, and just kept trying harder and harder with a little progress each time, until he finally made it. I never even tried to teach him, he just started arching his back and flipping one leg over on his own. That is the stage that Anthony is in now, arching his back and getting the idea.

With rolling over on the horizon, swaddling has become our next hurdle. Last appointment, I spoke to the doctor about swaddling them, and she said it is safe until they are able to unwrap themselves and then the blanket or wrap become a suffocation risk. Since Jared was showing interest in rolling over, I knew we would have to stop swaddling at some point soon.

One night last week, I thought we would test it out...cold turkey. Huge Mistake!! I was up until 3:30 AM with them on and off until I finally gave up and swaddled them, then miraculously, they slept. But the weird part is that when they would cry, it was actually a scream and when I would go check on them, they were still asleep but screaming and crying so loud. I didn't know what to think. Any time we would put them down without swaddling, I would have to answer to this type of crying. I did a little research online and it seems that this is very common for babies that love to be swaddled as much as Jared and Anthony do. It seems that while they might be outgrowing swaddling due to safety reasons, they are not quite ready to let go of it yet.

So according to my research online, it seems that they are actually having a type of nightmare due to the fact that they do not feel secure that Momma is around and able to be there for them when needed. (It was either that or the startling reflex waking them up, but since they do not actually wake up while crying, it seems that the nightmare/security issue is our issue.) So, after reading suggestions online, we are now going to slowly (day by day) un-swaddle one limb at a time. So currently they sleep and nap with their left arm out, which seems to help, slightly. They are still having crying periods a few times each night, but those should decrease soon (I hope). It was either this, or some Moms suggest shutting the door and not going back in until the morning and I am just not quite sure I can handle that.

I do (not surprisingly) have a hard time letting them "cry it out." I understand that that is the best way for most babies, but I just have such a hard time letting them get to that point after all they have been to. Luckily, bedtime and nap time are relatively easy for them and there is little if any fussing or crying to get them to sleep. They are well into their routine now.

It is so cute, they are finally starting to acknowledge one another now. They often times just sit and stare at each other, it seems like they are saying "Hey, I know you...and you look like me!"

They are still eating every four hours during the day and still love everything they have tried so far. Some type of squash will be our next venture, as for now we are trying out yummy combos...Sweet Potato/Banana mush anyone??

Now that we are eating more, they are flying through the formula and diapers...It really gets crazy with two at the same time. Recently I had to go to the Babies R Us by our house 3 times before they had the formula we use, I tried to explain to the sales associate that I do not have time to be running back and forth. So the next time, I called to check first, and after waiting on hold for 18 minutes and then having to call back to wait another 6 minutes, I could have just driven there myself! Geese - don't they know I have hungry twins at home :)

Many thanks again for your continued love, support and prayers. We owe everything to God's grace.

Fight on Little Fighters!! Love Momma

Boys still growing!

We have updated weights on both of them! As of the beginning of July, Jared weighed 13 lbs. 10 0z. and Anthony weighed 14 lbs even. The pediatrician said that she is very pleased with their growth and that they are even on the growth chart for weight. They both fall into the 3rd percentile for 6 month old infants. Jason and I were very surprised and overjoyed to hear that!

As far as length (24" each) and head circumference, they are not quite on the chart for 6 month olds yet, but the doctor is optimistic that at the rate they are growing, it won't be long. We were also very surprised to find out that Jared has a bigger head circ. than Anthony now. For a long time we jokingly called Anthony "Big Head" because his head seemed so much bigger than Jared's, but not any more.

Both are still enjoying discovering new foods. I have been cook and pureeing most all of their baby food from the beginning, it is so easy and very nutritious for them. I do find myself going to the grocery store more often than usual and of course, most of my cart is fresh organic produce, not a bad thing. They have loved carrots and apples recently. I also introduced a single grain oatmeal in lieu of rice cereal, Jared loves it but I think it gave Anthony an upset tummy. He had a few pretty fussy days and threw up twice, so we will try the oatmeal again later. No big deal for him...Rice cereal has always been his absolute favorite.

The boys are well on their way to sitting up on their own. We have been using their highchairs for feeding for some time now, which has helped them get used to the idea. Jared seems to have slightly better head control than Anthony right now and can actually sit on his own for all of about 2-3 seconds before falling over. Anthony will sit up with support but is not all that interested. He gives it about 10 minutes and then is over it and wants to be held.

We have noticed over the last few weeks that Anthony seems to be the "cuddler" of the two. He has not problem settling in and cuddling up in your arms for a snuggle. He rests his head right in the crook of your neck and just hugs you. It is so cute. Often times when I am sitting on the couch holding him, I find him moving his little fingers back and forth on my tummy almost as if he is trying to tickle me.

They are both still sleeping well and responding very well to their four hour feeding schedule.

They are becoming increasingly vocal and love to sit and talk. As soon as they wake up in the morning, the conversation begins. I love to egg them on with phrases like " I Loooovvveee Yooouuu" and "Hhhiiii Mooommmaaa" it really gets them talking up a storm.

Jared has a follow up head ultrasound scheduled for tomorrow morning at St. Jude. The pediatrician wants to follow up to see if the cysts from his brain bleed have completely resolved. She will call with the results in the next few weeks. I think we will have to stop by the NICU to see if any of our nurses are working, I am sure they would love to see the babies.

The boys are doing great when we go out and about. I took them to have their 6 month pictures done last week and they have enjoyed their first trips to the pool (which they both loved). Speaking of swimming, since they went in the pool for the first time, they have been getting me soaking wet with all of their splashing and kicking in the bathtub. Once they can sit up on their own, it might be time for the big bathtub.

4th of July brought their first parade! My aunt's neighborhood has a big block party every year which starts with a parade up and down their street then has backyard games, bounce houses, swimming and a pot luck lunch. We decorated the boys' stroller with American flags and red, white and blue streamers and I pushed their stroller in the parade...while they slept :) But it was fun nonetheless! They even won their first medals, the prize for best stroller, or was it cutest sleeping twins (?) doesn't matter, everyone received a medal for something.

The other day we went shopping and a woman asked me how old the boys were, when I replied "6 months" she said "what big babies!" Can you believe that? I don't particularly think they are big for their age (only 3rd percentile) but can you believe that someone actually thinks they are big?? My heart dropped...I never thought I'd hear that about one of my babies. One of my babies that was born 3 1/2 months early and weighed approx 2 lbs. Holy Moley!! Now everyday I look at them and tell them how big they are :) Thank you to that lady at the mall!!

I sincerely apologize for the delay in the posts, I am definitely going to make an effort to post their progress more frequently. I appreciate everyone who continues to check in on us and is eager to hear about how they are doing. I guess I need to get myself on a schedule and set aside a time to blog.

Thank you again for all of your continued support.

Fight On! Little Fighters!! - Love Momma

They boys are doing well and changing everyday

Jason and the boys with Dr. Hicks and Nurse Imelda at the St. Jude NICU Reunion

Anthony graced us with our first "Diaper Blow Out"
Anthony not liking the stroller too much...eventually he gave in.

Jared on his first stroller ride, a little more enjoyable.

As Jason mentioned in the last post, they are still in the beginning stages of enjoying solid foods. Yesterday was their first day taking their highchairs for a ride, they will learn to love them, I'm sure. They have been eating both bananas and avocado for the past few weeks, in addition to rice cereal, and today we tried sweet peas. It was their first jarred baby food. After getting a whiff of them, I wasn't exactly sure if they would like them as much as they did.

Yesterday afternoon we went for a walk and it was the boys' first time in their stroller without their carriers. With the help of some balnkets to prop them up, they did just fine and fell asleep before we got home.

Thankfully, they are sleeping well at night without any more middle of the night feedings. Thier bedtime is 8PM with another late night feeding at 11PM then they sleep until 8AM when we start our day. I am currently in the process of changing them to a 4-hour schedule. It seemed to be what they wanted and are doing well so far. Although I am still having a little trouble with them sleeping continuously through their naps, there is no problem with their eating.

They are well into 3 month size in regards to clothes, so they are growing like weeds. We have our next appointment with the pediatrician in the early part of July, so we will have updated weights and lenghts then.

The boys are anxiously awaiting to celebrate Jason's first Father's Day with him, unfortunately for him it also lands on my birthday. I am not too worried about my birthday this year, Jason deserves a day of his own.

Thank you again to all of you who continue to follow our story on here. I will do my best to update it more regularly with their new and exciting changes.

Fight on Little Fighters! -Love Momma

It's Been Quite a Month!

As you can see the frequency of posting here has slowed considerably. Daddy is back to work in full swing and Momma has but only a few minutes a day to herself. This doesn't leave much time to check in here and update the world on how the boys are doing. But, we are committed to post here when we can and let you all know how they are doing.

The theme of the last month has been sleep: how can we get the boys to do it, and how much is Momma getting? As with any baby there is a direct relationship between how much they sleep and how much the parents sleep. Danielle has been working very, very hard to set and maintain a schedule for the boys to make life easier. Thankfully her efforts have paid off greatly. Using the advice of Nicole Tafoya, who has expertly sleep trained three babies herself, Danielle has been able to get the boys to sleep at night between four and five hours straight.

This is a considerable improvement over the first few weeks the boys were home. The boys will now generally sleep from 12 a.m. to 4 or 5 a.m. That is not to say they will not fuss during that time, but at least there is no middle of the night feeding anymore. The next step is cutting out the early morning feeding. The last couple of nights the boys have not wanted that feeding, but they were extremely fussy, so time again will be our friend in getting Momma some relief from her seige.

Notice that I mention Momma exclusively as it relates to middle of the night duty. I am lucky enough that Danielle lets me sleep and does not wake me up often during the week. It's not that I can't or won't help, it's just that they don't always wake me up. Danielle hears everything. I guess it's a mom thing. She lets me sleep so that I am not totally wasted for work the next day. For this I am so fortunate and so appreciative.

The boys are now slowly making their way to regular food. At the last doctor's appointment the pediatrician said to start with rice cereal once or twice a day. The boys have taken to that very well. At first they were sloppy trying to suck the spoon like a nipple. After a few times however, they got the hang of it and now eat their cereal like champs. In the last couple of days we've introduced new food besides rice cereal. I'm happy to report that Jared is a big fan of avocado. Anthony not so much, but he eats it. The next food is banana. We started with veggies first (I know, avocado is fruit but it's not sweet so we count it as a veggie) so that they will get used to unsweetened food first.

I'm sure the big thing on your mind now is how much the boys weigh. At the last appointment in May Anthony checked in at 10lbs. 4oz. and Jared was 9lbs. 12oz. I would expect the boys to be much larger than that by now. We've noticed the last couple of weeks that they've gotten really big. They are now out of newborn clothes and into 0-3 months, with some of those outfits getting tight. Some of the outfits in fact were worn once and have now been retired. As for diapers the boys are fitting comfortably in Stage 1. Everyday they seem to grow an inch. When we get another weigh-in we will happily keep you informed.

As for their health in general, the boys are doing superb. The doctor is pleased with their progress. While clearly behind on the growth chart, they are climbing up at an intense pace; in fact much, much faster than the doctor expected. It is not a gradual increase, it is almost a straight line upward on the graph. The growth was so fast that the doctor gave us the green light to cut out a feeding, as I noted above.

The brain bleed on Anthony is no longer a concern, and Jared's was healing rapidly at the last check-up. He still has one more follow up ultrasound to make sure it has completely resolved, but overall the doctor is not concerned.

On the eye front, the boys are doing well. Dr. Adrean released them to a pediatric eye doctor. We had our first appointment with Dr. Lingua who gave the boys a clean bill of health so far. He said they are pretty badly far-sighted at this point, but that is common. According to him it should get better, but the fact that Momma wears glasses and so does Daddy means they probably weren't going to have perfect vision anyway.

Having the information about their sight has made it easier to understand their behaivor. We were concerned they weren't focusing on our face, or objects etc. Well, that was because they can't really see anything closer than three feet in front of their face. Now that we know their range of sight, they've really seemed to come alive. They focus on things, look right at us, and track objects and sounds. They also really seem to recognize us and even smile at us. Mind you its a real social smile, not an, "I just farted and so I'm smiling now."

Jared in fact really likes to do one thing in particular: watch TV. It is the funniest thing. The kid loves to watch TV. If he's near the TV he will fixate on it. He will cry if you hold him so he can't see it. When he eats we sucks on his bottle and focuses on the TV. When he lays down on the floor for tummy time or play time, he turns his head to watch the TV. It is an absolute crack up.

In general, Jared is far more alert about his environment than Anthony. He is always watching things, and looking around. Anthony is more content to relax and sleep. Jared wants to be in the action. He is harder to put to sleep, harder to keep asleep, and in general far more feisty than his brother.

I think he's going to be our trouble maker. His little personality is really starting to assert itself. Anthony's is too, but his is far more mellow. Anthony goes with the flow and is content to be awake, quiet, and happy.

Seeing their personalities developing has been so great. Seeing how far they've come in five months has been such an amazing journey. While the NICU was a difficult ride, having them home has been as well at times. There are good days and bad days at home, but with everyday they grow, and that is a blessing.

So, stay tuned here for more updates. We will make every effort to do them when we can. There is plenty coming up this month. Daddy's first Father's Day, Momma's Birthday, and this Sunday is the NICU reunion. By the way, Momma's first Mother's Day was a hit. Momma had a great day and was very happy. The boys and Schnitzel sent her flowers, made her breakfast, and bought her a very nice ring. Daddy did all the work of course, but they said to add it to their tab. Overall, it was a great day.

We continue to pray for more great days. Thanks to you all for your love, support, and (good) advice. We love you all!

Fight On, Little Fighters!- Love Daddy

Eye Appointment a Success!

On Monday we ventured back to Dr. Adrean's office for a follow up exam on the boys' eyes. All of the staff was delighted to see the boys and were shocked at their growth over just three short weeks. It is strange to us to hear the comments about how big they are getting because we don't seem to notice, as we see them everyday. We can only go by the size of the clothes or diapers to tell if they've grown.

Anyway, Dr. Adrean examined both boys and determined that all looked great with their eyes. So great in fact, that he released them to a pediatric opthamologist from here on out. The issue from here is long term effects of their prematurity on their eyesight. Some potential complications are near or farsightedness, loss of peripheral vision and cross-eyes. In all likelihood they would need glasses at some point anyway given that both Momma and Daddy use them. What we are concerned with is something like a loss of vision or crossed eyes. Any such issue though can be corrected and Dr. Adrean is not concerned. So, unless and until there is a reason for concern, we won't be.

Many have asked what the boys weight is. We don't know still. We are frustrated too because we are used to getting nightly updates on the issue from the NICU. Our next trip to the pediatrician is Monday so stay tuned for an update on weight and other health issues.

As a whole the boys are doing well. We are still working hard at getting a sleeping routine down for them. In general they seem to be sleeping much better between feedings. This of course is leading to more sleep for Momma especially. While the feedings continue around the clock, the boys have pretty much figured out what nighttime is for. Each baby still has a night or two a week where he won't sleep much, but in general things are moving forward, and that is good.

Developmentally it is such a crap shoot with them. They are four months old today, but are almost 6 weeks out of the NICU and only 3 weeks past their due date. A combination of these three ages are where they are supposed to be. While they are sleeping like 6 weekers, they began rolling over a few weeks back so in that case they are more advanced. We are hoping that the trip to the pediatrician on Monday gives good news that we can try to help them start sleeping through the night soon.

There really isn't much news to report. We are looking forward to an exciting week and weekend though. The boys are able to travel anywhere now and can be around crowds of people. Friday night we have a trip to Aunty Mare's to celebrate Uncle Gilbert and Aunty Stacie's birthdays. Saturday we travel to Aunt Lisa's house to celebrate Mother's Day with Momma's family and Sunday we have a party to attend to celebrate one of their great-great grandmother's 98th Birthday and then it is off probably to Grandma Liso's house to celebrate Mother's Day with Daddy's family.

Most importantly, Sunday is Momma's first Mother's Day. I know she is excited and so are her Boys (Daddy and Schnitz, included). We are so lucky to have her. She really is amazing and has taken to being a mother so flawlessly, that one would swear she was born to do it. I'm sure the boys have some gifts up their sleeves, and can't wait to show Momma how much she is loved and appreciated.

Thank you again for all of your love and support. We are truly blessed.

Fight On, Little Fighters!- Love Daddy

Daddy Back to Work Full Time, Boys Settling In

As you may have noticed by now, it is becoming increasingly difficult to keep up with the blog on any type of regular schedule. That is because life at home right now is pretty crazy. The boys are still eating around the clock and are not always the best sleepers.

Changing diapers, feeding, soothing, and everything else with them leaves little time for laundry, cleanup, showering, working out, let alone blogging. But, at least I get a break now from it all by going to work everyday. Momma (and Schnitzel!) unfortunately gets stuck holding down the fort. Along with all of the child care, she is saddled with keeping up the house during the day and somehow finding a few minutes to sleep, or a few minutes to shower.

Because she must love me that much for some reason, she lets me sleep more at night than she does. So, even though I am certainly sleep-deprived, Momma is sleepless. I don't know how she does it. I don't know how she functions. I am just grateful that she does. She's my hero.

It is amazing to me how Danielle manages to stay positive at all times. I never see her get upset with the boys, and she never seems to let the hectic nature of our house at this time get to her. I envy that because on many occasions I have felt like I just can't do it anymore. Again, I think therein lies the difference between mothers and fathers.

Going to work has actually been difficult for me. In the first place, I am not getting the 7 or 8 hours of sleep I am used to, so I am pretty tired. Secondly, I miss being home. When the boys were screaming bloody murder in the middle of the night and I was half-dead trying to feed them, I thought I would welcome work back with open arms. Strangely to me, I miss being home 24 hours a day.

I miss spending the time with my wife, and my boys. I miss watching Lets' Make a Deal, and the Price is Right in the morning with Danielle. I miss her laughing at me because I want to watch paternity tests on Maury. But, such is the life of a man. Someone has to work to make sure we can all eat, and I proudly go to work everyday to ensure that. I am blessed that I have a wife that not only can stay home, but wants to stay home and raise her children. Sadly, that seems to be more and more rare these days.

As for the boys themselves, which is why you read this thing anyway, they are doing well. They are eating well and appear to be gaining weight. Anthony seems significantly bigger than Jared at this point. When you hold them you can feel the difference. That being said, both are out of preemie diapers and have been for about three weeks now. Both are in newborn clothes now and have been for about three weeks now, so I know they are growing fast.

We don't visit the pediatrician for another week, so stay tuned for actual weights on both. As for the eye situation, we visit Dr. Adrean on Monday again. Last time we told you that if all was well he would release them to a pediatric opthamalogist. Everything is going superb with their eyes, but Dr. Adrean wanted one more visit to make sure the healing process continues to progress. If you ask me I just think his staff wants us to keep coming back, because they all gush over the boys. They are used to seeing a bunch of old farts in the eye clinic everyday, so two little babies is a welcomed sight. But, I digress.

As I noted above, the boys are still feeding around the clock, but I must say their sleeping patterns are getting much better than they were compared to the first two weeks home. Getting up every three hours in the middle of the night is really not that big of a deal for us, so long as the boys sleep quietly between feedings. At the beginning this was not happening at all. They would eat at 2 a.m. and then fuss, and cry, and make noise until 5 a.m.

When they sleep peacefully for two hours in between feedings we can accumulate 5 to 6 hours of good sleep. Thankfully, the last four or five nights we've seen their sleeping patterns at night become restful. As a matter of fact, starting at about 10 p.m., they sleep well between feedings. I've noticed as well that at the later feedings at night they are starting to eat less, falling asleep after only taking 1 or 2 ounces. This to me suggests that sleeping through the night, though a distant hope at this point, isn't really that far off.

We are keenly aware of the fact that the best way to get rid of middle of the night feedings is to ensure solid weight gain. This is of great concern for that reason, but also because the boys are preemies and weight gain is crucial for them. Hence, the doctor has informed us that we shouldn't let them sleep for more than four hours without feeding. Sound medical advice surely. But let me say this: if tonight they both wanted to sleep from 1o p.m. to 6 a.m., you better be armed if you expect to force me to wake them up.

In the first place, there is no waking them up. If they want to sleep, they sleep no matter what we may try to do to them. Secondly, who in their right mind wakes a sleeping baby in the middle of the night? Nutrition is key, but the sanity of the two people who are responsible for the said nutrition is important too.

We've worked hard to establish a routine for them to get them used to the idea that night is for sleeping. We've read a bunch of books, including Baby Wise, What to Expect the First Year, and several on twins exclusively. The books have given us many tips that we have employed that have worked. The books also are full of it a lot too.

The bottom line is that "experts" can have their opinions, but every baby is different and every house is different. You have to do what works for you. That is what we've done, and we've found our hybrid way of doing things, borrowing the best from each book, works better than any one philosophy.

As so many of you have commented, it does get better. We know that, but sometimes it feels like it may never. As one wise friend of ours commented, "The days are long, but the years are short." So, we continue on taking care of our children the best we can, still relishing the fact that after all they've been through, they are here.

So you may be asking, "Don't you have help?" The answer is yes, but if you want to help, please contact Danielle or I. We can find something for you to do for us that would be of great help. But please note it may be something as trivial as taking the dog potty. With multiples there really isn't a ton of time to do simple tasks.

Many people have graciously offered to stay with Danielle during the day, and some have even been over at night to help out. Our neighbor Jennet has been regularly doing the boys' laundry for us at her house saving us tons of time. The other night she came over and soothed the boys so we could have five minutes to eat dinner. She has been an amazing help to us, and is just one example.

I can't stress enough how much having a second or third pair of hands around benefits us. Taking the dog out for a walk, changing a diaper, or soothing one of the boys long enough to get a bottle together makes a huge difference. Essentially, doing something that gives us an extra five minutes of peace while the boys are quiet is worth its weight in gold.

Imagine a world where two babies are screaming for food, there is one parent trying to soothe one, another trying to change the diaper of one, soothe the other, all the while trying to make sure the bottle doesn't melt in the warmer: eight times a day. I'm not trying to be dramatic or exaggerate. It's just pretty nuts at our house right now. I'm just giving the facts to you to illustrate how much your help means to us.

For those who have been out to help we can't thank you enough. Your selfless dedication to helping us out is humbling. You start out as a parent with the idea that you are Superman and can do it alone. You read the books about multiples and all of them say to enlist help. You read that and think, "Yes, but we'll be able to handle it." Let me make this clear: Danielle and I can handle it alone.

But, we are also not so prideful to realize that things are easier and better with help. We are humble enough, I think, to know that we aren't Superman (at least Daddy isn't). So again, thank you for your support and help. Even the encouraging words are great. Those parents who have shared their experiences are great too, because we don't feel like we're alone in this struggle. Actually I call it a siege; we are the Russians at Stalingrad, just holding on for dear life at this point.

All kidding aside, we are enjoying our boys and are grateful they are home and thriving. Again, thank you for your thoughts and prayers. We can't wait to see you all and share our little miracles with you!

FOR PICS OF THE BOYS: http://www.leemophoto.com/blog/

Fight On, Little Fighters! - Love Daddy

Time really gets away from you!

Jason and I keep saying, "we really need to update the blog" but it seems that we never have time. It seems that we don't really have time for much these days...besides feeding and diapers.

Just like Jason suggested in his last post, I am loving every minute of it. I am so thankful to have Jared and Anthony home that I don't mind (too much) the lack of sleep. I love being able to feed them and cuddle them whenever they need it. It has been an interesting adjustment for both of us, but I thank God every day for blessing our lives with these two precious miracles.

We had another visit to the retinologist this week. Both boys are still doing well from the laser surgery. He is going to check them both again in 3 weeks and then refer us to a pediatric opthamologist. He was going to refer us after this visit, but told us that there is no harm in him checking their eyes again to make sure the laser really settled in well.

Good news from the pediatrician...Jared's cysts in his brain are showing improvement. We took him for a follow up head ultrasound last week and the pediatrician's office called us this week to say that the cysts are still improving. There is no sign of any other issues so they will repeat the ultrasound in three months.

We had to go to the hospital for Jared's ultrasound, which was great because we were able to stop in and see some of the NICU nurses. Nurse Mary even gave Jared his bottle since he was having his ultrasound during his normal feeding time and the boys (and Momma and Daddy) were able to say goodbye to Nurse Jay. He was out for a while before the boys left, and we were all sad about him not being there. He was Anthony's nurse pretty regularly at the beginning, as Mary was Jared's nurse...so it was like old times for the boys.

In addition to the visitors we have had over the past few weeks, Jason and I have been taking the boys on walks in the evenings and we went to the park with some of our neighbors today. It is great to get out and do things like that every once in a while as to prevent cabin fever :).

Yesterday was my due date and it was surprisingly a hard day for me. I told both Jared and Anthony how lucky we were to be able to meet them so early, but it was an emotional day that kept reminding me of the events on the day that they were born. I still feel tremendous guilt for the fact that they were born early and for everything that they endured in the first 3 months of their lives.

Jason is almost at the end of his leave and will be returning to work soon. That scares me to death. I am not sure why, exactly. Jason assures me that everything will be fine when he goes back to work, but it seems to be a daunting task. When the babies don't wake up starving at the same time, it is very easy for one of us to feed and diaper them both. But when they wake up at the same time, it is hard to get a grip. Deep down inside I know I will be fine, but the thought of it scares me at first. Jason has been a tremendous help while he has been home which has made the transition easier for all of us.

The boys are growing...not sure exactly how much they weigh since we don't weigh them every night like the nurses did in the NICU, but they are almost grown out of all of their preemie clothes and are wearing newborn size now. Most newborn clothes are still quite big on them, but we are certain they will grow into them soon. They have changed so much just in the few short weeks they have been home.

They both seem to have their fussy times and we are battling the spit up that is quite uncomfortable for them. They are doing better sleeping at night, but also have those times that they just need a hug...or a burp! Jason and I are adjusting just as Jared and Anthony are. Many people who have visited have asked how Schnitzel is adjusting: he is doing better each day. At first, he would wake up with us at every feeding, which made him very tired. He didn't quite know what to think of them, but now is getting used to having them around. This afternoon, I had them on the floor for some "tummy time" and Jason was watching them. When I came back in the room, both boys had scooted to the edge of the blanket and Schnitzel was laying right next to them. I am confident that they will be friends/brothers in no time.

Thank you again for all of your support. I continue to pray each night for each and every one of you who have supported us through everything. We couldn't have made it this far without you.

Fight on! Little Fighters!! - Love Momma

It's Only Been a Week?

Jared Left, Anthony Right

Jared Lounging in his Boppy

Jared Left, Anthony Right

Nurse Hyan, Nurse Tiffany, Momma, Nurse Sooji, Daddy, Nurse Kim, Nurse Imelda, Nurse Geri (L&D Nurse), Nurse Pat, Nurse Chris

Because it feels like a year.

People weren't kidding when they said that having twins was a ton of work. As you may have noticed from the amount of time between posts here, taking care of our two little monkeys leaves little time for anything else. We are lucky because the boys are on a very good schedule thanks to the NICU. That being said, it feels like we are constantly feeding, changing diapers or trying to keep them from wailing constantly.

Everything is double for us. With a singleton baby one might wake up at 2 a.m. for a feeding, and be done by 2:30. Well for us to get both boys taken care of usually takes an hour. That then leaves two hours of sleep between feedings. This of course assumes they will actually sleep between feedings.

This has been our challenge so far. For some reason the boys just can't seem to realize that the night is for sleeping. During the day they will eat and then fall asleep immediately. If we didn't wake them up for the next feeding they would sleep all day. Night is another story. They eat then sleep for a couple of minutes and wake up. Sometimes it will be to just cry. Other times they just wake up and fuss. We can often hear them rooting around in the bassinet.

After the first couple of nights of getting twenty minutes (literally) of sleep Danielle and I were at our wits' ends. Then came our trip to the pediatrician for the first time.

The boys weathered the car ride to see Dr. Isterabadi for the first time. She gave each boy a thorough exam. We are delighted to report that both are in perfect health. There is no more concern about PDA, or any other breathing or heart malady. The brain bleed and cysts in Anthony are perfectly healed. As for Jared, his bleed is gone, but the cysts still remain. The pediatrician wants a follow up ultrasound to track the healing process.

Other than that one issue for Jared, the boys are fine. We will return in May for our next visit. The doctor spent almost an hour with the boys doing her exams, and thankfully for us, answering some questions we had. We couldn't figure out why the boys were not sleeping at night.

We had our theories. Clearly at first it must have been the environment. Going from the noise and commotion of the NICU to peace and quiet, and darkness of home must have been a lot for them to handle. So, Danielle and I tried as best we could to recapture that environment for them with the hopes they'd sleep at night a bit. We turned on the TV and even left our bedroom light on. That didn't work.

We then thought perhaps it was gas keeping them up since at first they were little farting machines. Of course we had gas relief on hand, but were reluctant to give them any medication without doctor approval. We were delighted to find out that the doctor recommends giving Mylicon with every feeding to prevent gas discomfort, especially with preemies. We also postulated that it could be acid reflux. This was a problem for them in the NICU. Jared in fact, was prescribed Zantac while there for a while.

She also suggested that we do our best to not recreate the NICU environment. She said the room should be dark and quiet to let them acclimate to being at home. As for the reflux, the doctor did not want to prescribe Zantac just yet. She suggested tilting their bed up to 45 degrees. This is exactly what was done for the first 9 or so weeks in the NICU.

When we got home we applied the doctors suggestions. We were skeptical. But, tilting the bed and giving them Mylicon seemed to be the magic bullet. The boys slept perfectly between feedings. Danielle and I were able to get about 6 hours total of sleep that night! Success! Then the next night happened. Neither boy would sleep at all.

So we called the doctors office to try and figure out if there is something we are doing wrong. The doctor would normally just think it was nothing and part of the ups and downs of having a newborn (keep in mind the twins are considered newborns from the time of discharge from the NICU, even though time-wise, they are three months old). But, she was concerned they were both not sleeping. So, she prescribed Zantac for reflux.

That seemed to do the trick. The boys still have immature digestive tracts, and the sphincter in their esophagus may not be strong enough to tighten down and keep stomach acid from creeping back up into the throat. This of course will change with time, but for the time being the doctor wants to try and keep the stomach acid at bay.

The Zantac, the Mylicon, the dark, and the tilting of the bed have really made things better. Of course we've had a couple of nights where they just didn't want to sleep, but that is just part of having new babies. As a whole though, they do a decent job of sleeping between feedings now.

Danielle and I have our system down too. We can change a diaper have a bottle made, and a kid fed within 30 minutes now. We make a great team.

We are still learning though. I suppose sometimes our best intentions as parents can blow up in our face. While we both work together and pull our weight, it always seems that Danielle just can't or won't sleep. This concerns me because I want her to get rest. Every noise the boys make she's up making sure they are breathing, not choking, hungry or otherwise need attention. Short of screaming bloody murder, earthquake, or nuclear holocaust, Daddy sleeps when the boys sleep of course.

The last couple of nights I have volunteered during the day to do a feeding by myself so that Danielle can sleep for a few hours. Of course both boys wake up screaming for food at the same time. Here's a tip prospective or new parents: invest in Boppy pillows. Those things are life-savers. So, when the boys scream for food at the same time, I plop them in the pillows, put one bottle in each hand and feed. It works surprisingly well, and Momma gets some sleep.

Now, back to my point about best intentions. I also have volunteered to take the 2 a.m. feeding alone to allow Momma to sleep from midnight to 5 a.m. uninterrupted. Of course on the two nights we've tried this the boys would refuse to sleep between the 2 a.m. and the 5 a.m. feeding, thus destroying my well-intended plans. It just seems to work better when we both do the night feedings, strangely.

I guess the bottom line is that the sleep deprivation is horrid. I'll be honest, it has been very difficult for me to not feel anger when they are screaming and won't sleep. I get so frustrated. But, of course Danielle is a Saint. Therein lies the difference between mothers and fathers I guess. They could be screaming bloody murder with a diaper full of poop, pee flying in her face, and Momma is happy. Daddy wants to jump out a window.

Of course it's all worth it though, and I've been able to give myself some perspective. When I am angry I just think about our arduous journey. I think about how they struggled for life on January 5. I think about all the ups and downs, surgeries, and nights of worries about whether they'd live. The fact that they are home is a blessing. Plus, it just so hard to stay angry at two little boys so damn beautiful!

At the end of the day I actually enjoy the work, the spit up, the pee, and the poop. It is all worth it. At least I hope so. I keep telling the boys that all I want is a nice nursing home someday.

As for other events, the boys have had the pleasure of meeting just about the whole family on both sides. Of course everyone has fallen in love and people are shocked at their size. Anthony is 5lbs. 14oz. as of March 30, and Jared is 5lbs. 11oz. as of the same date.

Everyone who has met them has cried. You all have seen the pictures of sickly little babies hooked to machines and tubes. It is now quite a sight to see two, normal-looking babies in the flesh after all that I guess.

Easter was good to us. My parents and sister came by for breakfast, and Danielle's mother and sisters came by for lunch. We then surprised my family at Aunty Mare's with the boys. It was a small gathering and we figured it would be fine to bring the boys out. Aunty Laura cried, Uncle Hal even gushed a bit. Cousin Ali just cried and cried, and snapped pictures like she worked for the paparazzi. Daddy got to play some poker while the women all lost their minds over the boys.

It was a great day.

Everyday has been great. Some have been harder than others. But, that's life. That's being parents. It's all about the ride, and so far ours has been great.

Thank you all again for your love and support. We haven't forgotten about you and won't. We pray and thank God every night for you all.

I am sitting here trying to think of a way to sign off my post. The mantra while in the NICU we all know too well. So I'm thinking what is more appropriate? The bottom line is that life is always a fight. We fight to stay strong, do the right thing, etc. So, unless someone can think of something more clever I'll close with how we always have:

Fight On, Little Fighters!- Love Daddy

Home Sweet Home!

As of Friday at 3p.m. or so the boys have been home with us. It is almost surreal sitting here typing those words. Eleven and a half weeks ago it seemed so distant, even impossible. Yet, here we are. Our exit from the NICU was unceremonious, yet very emotional.

Fittingly, most all of the nurses who were regulars with our boys were there. We were sad to miss Nurse Jay, Nurse Ilene, and Nurse Mary. We also missed both of the Michelles from the night shift on Thursday. But, in attendance were some of our old favorites: Nurse Imelda, Nurse Pat, Nurse Sooji, and Nurse Kim.

Momma held it together well, thankfully. On several occasions Daddy fought back tears. On Friday I went to work in the morning. I decided to wear the exact same suit and tie that I wore on January 5. On that day I never would have imagined that it would be the first thing my boys ever saw me in. On Friday I figured I would wear the exact same thing. I brought them in wearing that suit, so I figured I'd take them out wearing it.

As I stood in the NICU I thought back to January 5. I was the first one in. Danielle was in recovery, and my sanity was dangling by a thread. There I was though, dressed for court and standing over the isolettes of my two little boys who were struggling for life. I was trying to soak it all in, wondering what just happened. I couldn't tell you the nurses who were there that day. I know Mary was one because she took a picture of me with my boys. The look on my face is one of terror, and wonder. I look as though I had just seen a ghost.

I then came back to Friday, and looked over at my two little boys who were getting dressed up for their exit into the real world. Momma was filling out paperwork, and nurses everywhere were tending to their babies or helping us get our things together for discharge. Tears welled up in my eyes as I thought back to January 5. My heart pounded, and then I thought of our journey down this road to freedom. I am so grateful that that journey has allowed us to embark on an even greater one: life at home with our children.

If I wasn't a man before January 5, I became one that day. If I wasn't a man January 5, then I became a man when I had to leave my two babies behind in the NICU and go home. If I wasn't a man that day, then I became one when I had to leave my whole life at home and in the hospital to go work that following Monday. If I wasn't a man then, then I think waking up at 2a.m. with my amazing wife to feed my beautiful boys on Friday night I became one. I imagine there will be several more life-defining moments to come, and I am so grateful I get the chance.

This leads me to another point. So many have told us that given our situation, and given the miraculous survival of my boys, they must be destined for greatness. I certainly hope this is true. Yet, Danielle and I may define greatness in other ways. Through our whole journey in the NICU, we merely asked God for a chance; for us to be parents, and for our boys to have a chance at life.

So, if my two boys are destined to be President of the United States, or something else remarkable, then great. But, if they simply grow up to be productive members of society, if they take care of their families, maintain honor and integrity, and treat others as they would like to be treated, then they will be great, because that is what true greatness is. As a parent, I think that is all one could ask for. A title, a job, or lots of money does not make one great. There is greatness around us everyday, if we would just take a look around once in a while.

I will be here for the next four weeks, and my boss has been gracious enough to let me take that time off (paid of course). Danielle has decided not to return to work, which I support fully, and actually prefer. As for what you can do for us, at this point standby. Many have asked, and to be honest we are still trying to figure things out. But, thank you for offers, and don't worry. We will let you know when you can help, because I'm sure before long we'll need it!

The boys are doing great by the way. Both boys tip the scales at over 5lbs. At check-out Anthony was 5lbs. 8oz, and Jared was 5lbs. 2oz. We'll know more about weight on Monday when we visit the pediatrician (not neonatologist, woo hoo!). They are eating well and sleeping better than they did on Friday night when they got home.

Getting over the hustle and bustle of the NICU will be hard for them. There is a lot of noise, and commotion 24 hours a day in there; a lot of "ding-ding" as Nurse Sooji would say. The relative peace and quiet here seems to be a little unnerving for them at the moment. But, they've already adapted over two days, so I imagine they will adjust more and more each day.

As for visiting, the doctors at the NICU said 5 weeks before taking them into a crowd of people, so don't expect to see us anywhere but the doctor for a while. As for visitors to the home, that is up to Danielle and I. For the time being we'd like our space to settle into a routine. This is tough, because everyone was robbed of the chance to meet them at the hospital. But, when we are comfortable, we will let you know. It won't be long. We are just as anxious as you to introduce the boys, but please be patient with us while we adjust.

Adjustment is necessary too. Twins are a TON of work. It's been two days and we are already exhausted! But, we are learning more and more each hour. We have been blessed to have received an 11-week course on newborn baby care from the hospital. Doing the day to day stuff so far has been a breeze. We have the diaper thing and feeding thing down. We have the bath thing down. Frankly, as far as care or health, etc. nothing can scare us now. We've been trained to handle it all. We have mountains to learn still, but we have a great foundation and are doing great so far.

We're just tired! These suckers eat every three hours! Coping with the sleep depravation is tough, but it's all worth it. In fact, we take joy in just having the chance to be sleep deprived! Please stay tuned here though.

We plan to keep blogging and letting you know how the boys do. Being 26 week preemies can be a tough road. There may still be mountains to climb or hurdles to overcome, but only time will tell. This has been an amazing communication tool, and we'd love to keep you in the loop about our lives as we mature as parents, and the boys grow.

In closing, Danielle and I can't thank you enough for your love and support. I can easily say that for the both of us, the NICU rollercoaster has been the toughest ride of our lives. Without you all we would have given up a long time ago. Your strength and support, along with the Grace of God has been our rock.

For that we are forever grateful to you all. We love you all so much.

You Fought On, Little Fighters...and you WON!- Love Daddy