Daddy Back to Work Full Time, Boys Settling In

As you may have noticed by now, it is becoming increasingly difficult to keep up with the blog on any type of regular schedule. That is because life at home right now is pretty crazy. The boys are still eating around the clock and are not always the best sleepers.

Changing diapers, feeding, soothing, and everything else with them leaves little time for laundry, cleanup, showering, working out, let alone blogging. But, at least I get a break now from it all by going to work everyday. Momma (and Schnitzel!) unfortunately gets stuck holding down the fort. Along with all of the child care, she is saddled with keeping up the house during the day and somehow finding a few minutes to sleep, or a few minutes to shower.

Because she must love me that much for some reason, she lets me sleep more at night than she does. So, even though I am certainly sleep-deprived, Momma is sleepless. I don't know how she does it. I don't know how she functions. I am just grateful that she does. She's my hero.

It is amazing to me how Danielle manages to stay positive at all times. I never see her get upset with the boys, and she never seems to let the hectic nature of our house at this time get to her. I envy that because on many occasions I have felt like I just can't do it anymore. Again, I think therein lies the difference between mothers and fathers.

Going to work has actually been difficult for me. In the first place, I am not getting the 7 or 8 hours of sleep I am used to, so I am pretty tired. Secondly, I miss being home. When the boys were screaming bloody murder in the middle of the night and I was half-dead trying to feed them, I thought I would welcome work back with open arms. Strangely to me, I miss being home 24 hours a day.

I miss spending the time with my wife, and my boys. I miss watching Lets' Make a Deal, and the Price is Right in the morning with Danielle. I miss her laughing at me because I want to watch paternity tests on Maury. But, such is the life of a man. Someone has to work to make sure we can all eat, and I proudly go to work everyday to ensure that. I am blessed that I have a wife that not only can stay home, but wants to stay home and raise her children. Sadly, that seems to be more and more rare these days.

As for the boys themselves, which is why you read this thing anyway, they are doing well. They are eating well and appear to be gaining weight. Anthony seems significantly bigger than Jared at this point. When you hold them you can feel the difference. That being said, both are out of preemie diapers and have been for about three weeks now. Both are in newborn clothes now and have been for about three weeks now, so I know they are growing fast.

We don't visit the pediatrician for another week, so stay tuned for actual weights on both. As for the eye situation, we visit Dr. Adrean on Monday again. Last time we told you that if all was well he would release them to a pediatric opthamalogist. Everything is going superb with their eyes, but Dr. Adrean wanted one more visit to make sure the healing process continues to progress. If you ask me I just think his staff wants us to keep coming back, because they all gush over the boys. They are used to seeing a bunch of old farts in the eye clinic everyday, so two little babies is a welcomed sight. But, I digress.

As I noted above, the boys are still feeding around the clock, but I must say their sleeping patterns are getting much better than they were compared to the first two weeks home. Getting up every three hours in the middle of the night is really not that big of a deal for us, so long as the boys sleep quietly between feedings. At the beginning this was not happening at all. They would eat at 2 a.m. and then fuss, and cry, and make noise until 5 a.m.

When they sleep peacefully for two hours in between feedings we can accumulate 5 to 6 hours of good sleep. Thankfully, the last four or five nights we've seen their sleeping patterns at night become restful. As a matter of fact, starting at about 10 p.m., they sleep well between feedings. I've noticed as well that at the later feedings at night they are starting to eat less, falling asleep after only taking 1 or 2 ounces. This to me suggests that sleeping through the night, though a distant hope at this point, isn't really that far off.

We are keenly aware of the fact that the best way to get rid of middle of the night feedings is to ensure solid weight gain. This is of great concern for that reason, but also because the boys are preemies and weight gain is crucial for them. Hence, the doctor has informed us that we shouldn't let them sleep for more than four hours without feeding. Sound medical advice surely. But let me say this: if tonight they both wanted to sleep from 1o p.m. to 6 a.m., you better be armed if you expect to force me to wake them up.

In the first place, there is no waking them up. If they want to sleep, they sleep no matter what we may try to do to them. Secondly, who in their right mind wakes a sleeping baby in the middle of the night? Nutrition is key, but the sanity of the two people who are responsible for the said nutrition is important too.

We've worked hard to establish a routine for them to get them used to the idea that night is for sleeping. We've read a bunch of books, including Baby Wise, What to Expect the First Year, and several on twins exclusively. The books have given us many tips that we have employed that have worked. The books also are full of it a lot too.

The bottom line is that "experts" can have their opinions, but every baby is different and every house is different. You have to do what works for you. That is what we've done, and we've found our hybrid way of doing things, borrowing the best from each book, works better than any one philosophy.

As so many of you have commented, it does get better. We know that, but sometimes it feels like it may never. As one wise friend of ours commented, "The days are long, but the years are short." So, we continue on taking care of our children the best we can, still relishing the fact that after all they've been through, they are here.

So you may be asking, "Don't you have help?" The answer is yes, but if you want to help, please contact Danielle or I. We can find something for you to do for us that would be of great help. But please note it may be something as trivial as taking the dog potty. With multiples there really isn't a ton of time to do simple tasks.

Many people have graciously offered to stay with Danielle during the day, and some have even been over at night to help out. Our neighbor Jennet has been regularly doing the boys' laundry for us at her house saving us tons of time. The other night she came over and soothed the boys so we could have five minutes to eat dinner. She has been an amazing help to us, and is just one example.

I can't stress enough how much having a second or third pair of hands around benefits us. Taking the dog out for a walk, changing a diaper, or soothing one of the boys long enough to get a bottle together makes a huge difference. Essentially, doing something that gives us an extra five minutes of peace while the boys are quiet is worth its weight in gold.

Imagine a world where two babies are screaming for food, there is one parent trying to soothe one, another trying to change the diaper of one, soothe the other, all the while trying to make sure the bottle doesn't melt in the warmer: eight times a day. I'm not trying to be dramatic or exaggerate. It's just pretty nuts at our house right now. I'm just giving the facts to you to illustrate how much your help means to us.

For those who have been out to help we can't thank you enough. Your selfless dedication to helping us out is humbling. You start out as a parent with the idea that you are Superman and can do it alone. You read the books about multiples and all of them say to enlist help. You read that and think, "Yes, but we'll be able to handle it." Let me make this clear: Danielle and I can handle it alone.

But, we are also not so prideful to realize that things are easier and better with help. We are humble enough, I think, to know that we aren't Superman (at least Daddy isn't). So again, thank you for your support and help. Even the encouraging words are great. Those parents who have shared their experiences are great too, because we don't feel like we're alone in this struggle. Actually I call it a siege; we are the Russians at Stalingrad, just holding on for dear life at this point.

All kidding aside, we are enjoying our boys and are grateful they are home and thriving. Again, thank you for your thoughts and prayers. We can't wait to see you all and share our little miracles with you!

FOR PICS OF THE BOYS: http://www.leemophoto.com/blog/

Fight On, Little Fighters! - Love Daddy

Time really gets away from you!

Jason and I keep saying, "we really need to update the blog" but it seems that we never have time. It seems that we don't really have time for much these days...besides feeding and diapers.

Just like Jason suggested in his last post, I am loving every minute of it. I am so thankful to have Jared and Anthony home that I don't mind (too much) the lack of sleep. I love being able to feed them and cuddle them whenever they need it. It has been an interesting adjustment for both of us, but I thank God every day for blessing our lives with these two precious miracles.

We had another visit to the retinologist this week. Both boys are still doing well from the laser surgery. He is going to check them both again in 3 weeks and then refer us to a pediatric opthamologist. He was going to refer us after this visit, but told us that there is no harm in him checking their eyes again to make sure the laser really settled in well.

Good news from the pediatrician...Jared's cysts in his brain are showing improvement. We took him for a follow up head ultrasound last week and the pediatrician's office called us this week to say that the cysts are still improving. There is no sign of any other issues so they will repeat the ultrasound in three months.

We had to go to the hospital for Jared's ultrasound, which was great because we were able to stop in and see some of the NICU nurses. Nurse Mary even gave Jared his bottle since he was having his ultrasound during his normal feeding time and the boys (and Momma and Daddy) were able to say goodbye to Nurse Jay. He was out for a while before the boys left, and we were all sad about him not being there. He was Anthony's nurse pretty regularly at the beginning, as Mary was Jared's nurse...so it was like old times for the boys.

In addition to the visitors we have had over the past few weeks, Jason and I have been taking the boys on walks in the evenings and we went to the park with some of our neighbors today. It is great to get out and do things like that every once in a while as to prevent cabin fever :).

Yesterday was my due date and it was surprisingly a hard day for me. I told both Jared and Anthony how lucky we were to be able to meet them so early, but it was an emotional day that kept reminding me of the events on the day that they were born. I still feel tremendous guilt for the fact that they were born early and for everything that they endured in the first 3 months of their lives.

Jason is almost at the end of his leave and will be returning to work soon. That scares me to death. I am not sure why, exactly. Jason assures me that everything will be fine when he goes back to work, but it seems to be a daunting task. When the babies don't wake up starving at the same time, it is very easy for one of us to feed and diaper them both. But when they wake up at the same time, it is hard to get a grip. Deep down inside I know I will be fine, but the thought of it scares me at first. Jason has been a tremendous help while he has been home which has made the transition easier for all of us.

The boys are growing...not sure exactly how much they weigh since we don't weigh them every night like the nurses did in the NICU, but they are almost grown out of all of their preemie clothes and are wearing newborn size now. Most newborn clothes are still quite big on them, but we are certain they will grow into them soon. They have changed so much just in the few short weeks they have been home.

They both seem to have their fussy times and we are battling the spit up that is quite uncomfortable for them. They are doing better sleeping at night, but also have those times that they just need a hug...or a burp! Jason and I are adjusting just as Jared and Anthony are. Many people who have visited have asked how Schnitzel is adjusting: he is doing better each day. At first, he would wake up with us at every feeding, which made him very tired. He didn't quite know what to think of them, but now is getting used to having them around. This afternoon, I had them on the floor for some "tummy time" and Jason was watching them. When I came back in the room, both boys had scooted to the edge of the blanket and Schnitzel was laying right next to them. I am confident that they will be friends/brothers in no time.

Thank you again for all of your support. I continue to pray each night for each and every one of you who have supported us through everything. We couldn't have made it this far without you.

Fight on! Little Fighters!! - Love Momma

It's Only Been a Week?

Jared Left, Anthony Right

Jared Lounging in his Boppy

Jared Left, Anthony Right

Nurse Hyan, Nurse Tiffany, Momma, Nurse Sooji, Daddy, Nurse Kim, Nurse Imelda, Nurse Geri (L&D Nurse), Nurse Pat, Nurse Chris

Because it feels like a year.

People weren't kidding when they said that having twins was a ton of work. As you may have noticed from the amount of time between posts here, taking care of our two little monkeys leaves little time for anything else. We are lucky because the boys are on a very good schedule thanks to the NICU. That being said, it feels like we are constantly feeding, changing diapers or trying to keep them from wailing constantly.

Everything is double for us. With a singleton baby one might wake up at 2 a.m. for a feeding, and be done by 2:30. Well for us to get both boys taken care of usually takes an hour. That then leaves two hours of sleep between feedings. This of course assumes they will actually sleep between feedings.

This has been our challenge so far. For some reason the boys just can't seem to realize that the night is for sleeping. During the day they will eat and then fall asleep immediately. If we didn't wake them up for the next feeding they would sleep all day. Night is another story. They eat then sleep for a couple of minutes and wake up. Sometimes it will be to just cry. Other times they just wake up and fuss. We can often hear them rooting around in the bassinet.

After the first couple of nights of getting twenty minutes (literally) of sleep Danielle and I were at our wits' ends. Then came our trip to the pediatrician for the first time.

The boys weathered the car ride to see Dr. Isterabadi for the first time. She gave each boy a thorough exam. We are delighted to report that both are in perfect health. There is no more concern about PDA, or any other breathing or heart malady. The brain bleed and cysts in Anthony are perfectly healed. As for Jared, his bleed is gone, but the cysts still remain. The pediatrician wants a follow up ultrasound to track the healing process.

Other than that one issue for Jared, the boys are fine. We will return in May for our next visit. The doctor spent almost an hour with the boys doing her exams, and thankfully for us, answering some questions we had. We couldn't figure out why the boys were not sleeping at night.

We had our theories. Clearly at first it must have been the environment. Going from the noise and commotion of the NICU to peace and quiet, and darkness of home must have been a lot for them to handle. So, Danielle and I tried as best we could to recapture that environment for them with the hopes they'd sleep at night a bit. We turned on the TV and even left our bedroom light on. That didn't work.

We then thought perhaps it was gas keeping them up since at first they were little farting machines. Of course we had gas relief on hand, but were reluctant to give them any medication without doctor approval. We were delighted to find out that the doctor recommends giving Mylicon with every feeding to prevent gas discomfort, especially with preemies. We also postulated that it could be acid reflux. This was a problem for them in the NICU. Jared in fact, was prescribed Zantac while there for a while.

She also suggested that we do our best to not recreate the NICU environment. She said the room should be dark and quiet to let them acclimate to being at home. As for the reflux, the doctor did not want to prescribe Zantac just yet. She suggested tilting their bed up to 45 degrees. This is exactly what was done for the first 9 or so weeks in the NICU.

When we got home we applied the doctors suggestions. We were skeptical. But, tilting the bed and giving them Mylicon seemed to be the magic bullet. The boys slept perfectly between feedings. Danielle and I were able to get about 6 hours total of sleep that night! Success! Then the next night happened. Neither boy would sleep at all.

So we called the doctors office to try and figure out if there is something we are doing wrong. The doctor would normally just think it was nothing and part of the ups and downs of having a newborn (keep in mind the twins are considered newborns from the time of discharge from the NICU, even though time-wise, they are three months old). But, she was concerned they were both not sleeping. So, she prescribed Zantac for reflux.

That seemed to do the trick. The boys still have immature digestive tracts, and the sphincter in their esophagus may not be strong enough to tighten down and keep stomach acid from creeping back up into the throat. This of course will change with time, but for the time being the doctor wants to try and keep the stomach acid at bay.

The Zantac, the Mylicon, the dark, and the tilting of the bed have really made things better. Of course we've had a couple of nights where they just didn't want to sleep, but that is just part of having new babies. As a whole though, they do a decent job of sleeping between feedings now.

Danielle and I have our system down too. We can change a diaper have a bottle made, and a kid fed within 30 minutes now. We make a great team.

We are still learning though. I suppose sometimes our best intentions as parents can blow up in our face. While we both work together and pull our weight, it always seems that Danielle just can't or won't sleep. This concerns me because I want her to get rest. Every noise the boys make she's up making sure they are breathing, not choking, hungry or otherwise need attention. Short of screaming bloody murder, earthquake, or nuclear holocaust, Daddy sleeps when the boys sleep of course.

The last couple of nights I have volunteered during the day to do a feeding by myself so that Danielle can sleep for a few hours. Of course both boys wake up screaming for food at the same time. Here's a tip prospective or new parents: invest in Boppy pillows. Those things are life-savers. So, when the boys scream for food at the same time, I plop them in the pillows, put one bottle in each hand and feed. It works surprisingly well, and Momma gets some sleep.

Now, back to my point about best intentions. I also have volunteered to take the 2 a.m. feeding alone to allow Momma to sleep from midnight to 5 a.m. uninterrupted. Of course on the two nights we've tried this the boys would refuse to sleep between the 2 a.m. and the 5 a.m. feeding, thus destroying my well-intended plans. It just seems to work better when we both do the night feedings, strangely.

I guess the bottom line is that the sleep deprivation is horrid. I'll be honest, it has been very difficult for me to not feel anger when they are screaming and won't sleep. I get so frustrated. But, of course Danielle is a Saint. Therein lies the difference between mothers and fathers I guess. They could be screaming bloody murder with a diaper full of poop, pee flying in her face, and Momma is happy. Daddy wants to jump out a window.

Of course it's all worth it though, and I've been able to give myself some perspective. When I am angry I just think about our arduous journey. I think about how they struggled for life on January 5. I think about all the ups and downs, surgeries, and nights of worries about whether they'd live. The fact that they are home is a blessing. Plus, it just so hard to stay angry at two little boys so damn beautiful!

At the end of the day I actually enjoy the work, the spit up, the pee, and the poop. It is all worth it. At least I hope so. I keep telling the boys that all I want is a nice nursing home someday.

As for other events, the boys have had the pleasure of meeting just about the whole family on both sides. Of course everyone has fallen in love and people are shocked at their size. Anthony is 5lbs. 14oz. as of March 30, and Jared is 5lbs. 11oz. as of the same date.

Everyone who has met them has cried. You all have seen the pictures of sickly little babies hooked to machines and tubes. It is now quite a sight to see two, normal-looking babies in the flesh after all that I guess.

Easter was good to us. My parents and sister came by for breakfast, and Danielle's mother and sisters came by for lunch. We then surprised my family at Aunty Mare's with the boys. It was a small gathering and we figured it would be fine to bring the boys out. Aunty Laura cried, Uncle Hal even gushed a bit. Cousin Ali just cried and cried, and snapped pictures like she worked for the paparazzi. Daddy got to play some poker while the women all lost their minds over the boys.

It was a great day.

Everyday has been great. Some have been harder than others. But, that's life. That's being parents. It's all about the ride, and so far ours has been great.

Thank you all again for your love and support. We haven't forgotten about you and won't. We pray and thank God every night for you all.

I am sitting here trying to think of a way to sign off my post. The mantra while in the NICU we all know too well. So I'm thinking what is more appropriate? The bottom line is that life is always a fight. We fight to stay strong, do the right thing, etc. So, unless someone can think of something more clever I'll close with how we always have:

Fight On, Little Fighters!- Love Daddy